Images of my life

Images of my life
and how it would pass
    born of the perceptions of a boy
and then young man
   			 watching his father's life pass

now broken
     having fallen off the wall
     struck the ground on its corner
     			and shattered

on my hands and knees
                sifting through the pieces
I cannot be put back together

no despair
	this is not the time for it

I have watched women give birth
	assisted them in their labors
guided their deliveries
	celebrated with them their creations

now I am pregnant with an unborn life
	my own
am frightened of the pain and the unknown
    	of bringing it forward

I do not want any painkillers
    though a good midwife would be welcomed

the process takes time
    will not be altered by my impatience

no certainty as to outcome
	I only know there is no turning back
my life
	the new one
		is about to be born

I think I finally understand
	it is a thin veil between
a terrified grimace and an excited smile